I remember you

My sweet Erin,
It's October, 2010, and I remember you. There is hardly a moment that goes by that you aren't on my mind.
I just had another birthday. Daddy and David tried so hard to make it a good day for me. But none of our birthdays are the same now without you here.
I still have flashbacks of your beautiful face. I remember you walking down the hall of the last school where I taught with that huge bouquet of fresh cut flowers. It was my 50th birthday. You never, ever let a special day go by without making it a real celebration.
I remember your zest for life, your love for people, your extreme caring for others, even to your own detriment sometimes. You wanted others to be happy and be cared for.
I remember your smile, which was so infectious to all around you. I remember how you would laugh so hard sometimes when you were happy.
I remember so much about you..how you loved for me to 'play in your hair' to run my fingers through it like I did when you were little. I think you always wanted to be mama's little girl even when you grew up. I remember you standing beside me and telling me Jeff wanted to marry you. You said, But mama, will it be the same between us if I marry Jeff. You didn't want anything to change, but you wanted to marry Jeff. I have wondered if you were really ready to get married. But you did and you and he were happy and loved each other so much.
Jeff has married again now and has a little boy that I've never seen. He has distanced himself from us. But I figure it is so he can go on with life without being so sad. We may make him sad as he remembers you. He needs to be here for that little boy. I wish he had included us in his life, but I guess it wasn't meant to be. Daddy still goes by sometimes and has seen his wife and child. But I can't go back to that house. It just hurts so much to see someone else in your place, in the house where you put so much energy into remodeling it.
I still cry when I look at your picture. Sometimes it still doesn't seem real. It's like living in a nightmare when I realize over and over that you have left us for Heaven. But I go on for David and Daddy's sake. I know that one sweet day we will all be together again in Heaven and all will be well for all eternity.
I love you Erin. I remember and will never ever forget my sweet girl. I miss you with every breath I take!
love forever,
mama