Thanksgiving, 2009

My sweet Erin,
Well, tomorrow we will face another Thanksgiving without you. I say "face" because it is what it is. It is not a joyful family time like the last one we had with you and Jeff, Ricky, Cretia, and David. It will never be that again. We will go and eat with Sharon and John and Carol and Larry. They are not family, but God has bound them to us in a special way since you left for Heaven.
I went to your grave today. I cried. I remembered. I put a Tweety Bird balloon beside the giant sunflower behind your stone. I remembered all the times we shared, all the love we shared and still do. I miss you so bad. The tears they came again today. I guess they will until that day that God wipes them away. Then I won't live with tears anymore. I will live with you, David, Heather, and Daddy throughout eternity. Won't we all be so glad.
So, tomorrow is going to come whether I like it or not. I will be thankful for the 23 years I had with you even though that was not enough on this earth. I will be thankful for your brother David and your daddy and your baby sister, even though I never held her in my arms. I will be thankful for all the good things God has allowed me to have in this life. And, yes, I will even be thankful for the pain that I have endured in this life.
God knows best. I don't know even how to live one day without Him. He holds me in His arms and tells me it is going to be o.k. whether in this life or that eternal life, I know it will be o.k.
I love you Erin. I miss you. I will never stop missing you on this earth. Your brother and your dad miss you so terribly. We will never, ever forget or let others forget how very precious you are to us. I hold you close to me in my thoughts and in my life.
thank you, God, for my children, all three of them and maybe the three I think I miscarried early on. Thank you for the joy that they have brought to this woman.