Does anybody hear me?

My dear Erin,
It's been 3 years and 6 months since you left us for Heaven. We miss you more and more with each passing day. There is not a day nor an hour that passes that you are not on our minds and hearts.
There is this huge void in our lives that nothing has filled. It is the place where you were. God is helping us to stay here and do the things we must. And I believe He will give us some joy along the way as we see David continue to grow up and find his place in life and marry and have children, hopefully. All these stops along the way, though, are so empty without you. All of life's sweet celebrations are not as enjoyable since you went away.
I do feel your spirit near, sometimes so near I feel I can touch you. But then, just as a butterfly, you seem to flit away too quickly.
I miss you so. I miss your calls, your love, your care and concern for every thing that touched our lives. I miss the future that would have been yours. I went to Tonya's baby shower today and felt so empty as I realized it could have been yours. I longed to see the little bundle of joy that would have been your and Jeff's baby. He has a baby now, but it's not yours and his. It belongs to another. Oh, how my heart breaks for all the wonderful blessings in life that we would have shared together. When I sit in a baby shower or in a crowd or walk in the mall, I just long for you to be there with me like we used to be.

I don't know if anyone ever reads these blogs or not. They probably wouldn't want to read this one because it is so full of sadness and pain. I wish someone would and would reply, though. I wish some of your friends would show that they are still there and that they miss you so terribly, like we do. I wish Jeff would come by and tell me how much he still misses you. But he and his family are holding us at arm's length. They don't call or come by. It's as if you never were part of their lives and they don't know us. They don't want to share in our pain. Maybe it's just too much for them to bear. I feel that, instead of embracing us and loving us, people just walk the other way so that none of the grief will affect their lives. It hurts.

But there is One who has been there all the time. Jesus has been my dearest friend in all this darkness. God has shown me how to live, how to survive this dark night of grief. He has kept me. He has stuck with us when we cried or mourned or even smiled on those gentler days. I'm so glad I know Him.

Wait for me, Erin. Hold my place in Heaven. One day your mom, dad, and brothers will be there with you. Hold your baby sister close to you. Tell her about all of us and how much we wanted to get to know her and be part of her life.

I love you and miss you,
Mama